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September 14, 2008

Conference urges men to reclaim their roles

By Patrick Butler

CONTRIBUTOR

Pornography addiction, subtle anti-Catholicism, the secularization of America, and faithful citizenship were among the topics covered at the Chicago archdiocese’s first Catholic Men’s Conference, Sept. 6, at the Stephens Convention Center in suburban Rosemont.

One of the biggest problems facing the church today — “telling the real Catholic story” at a time of so much misinformation — is also one Catholic men can play a major role in solving, according to speakers Carl Anderson, national head of the Knights of Columbus, and author and motivational speaker Matthew Kelly.

‘Culture of virtue’

“Almost 3 million students will be educated in Catholic schools, saving American taxpayers $18 billion a year. Just in Chicago, Catholic Charities will give away 2.1 million free meals this year. We don’t ask if they’re Catholic. We just ask if they’re hungry,” Kelly said.

“But we’re allowing the media in this country to convince us that Catholicism is about a handful of priests who don’t know what it is to be a priest. They are not Catholicism,” said Kelly, whose 13 books include “Rediscovering Catholicism.”

Right on, said K of C Supreme Knight Anderson, calling for a “culture of virtue” he admits sounds radical today. But then, so did the right of workers to form unions when Pope Leo XIII made it part of the Catholic social-justice agenda in the late 19th century.

“Workers rights were no more popular at that time than the right to life is in many circles today,” said Anderson, noting that more than 40 million children have been killed since the 1973 Roe v. Wade Supreme Court decision overturning laws against abortion.

Struggle with pornography

But the biggest private struggle most men face today is the proliferation of online pornography, said Kenneth Henderson, who founded True Knights International to help others like himself who have at times spent hours perusing porn.

“Imagine living in a house where alcohol came out of the faucets How many people do you think would not be alcoholics? I hear from priests around the country that nine out of 10 men coming to confession are confessing this problem.”

And anyone can easily be caught off guard, said Henderson, who thought that because of his work, he himself was somehow immune from temptation, only to “fall and keep falling.”

“I’d be a fool if I joined the Army and wanted to go on the battlefield and fight the enemy all by myself, because you need someone to keep you in line and watch your back,” said Henderson, who recommends finding “accountability partners” by joining groups like his, a 12-step group, or a men’s Bible study group.

Dominican Father Jordan Kelly, who heads the Chicago Archdiocese’s Office of Evangelization, said the conference was a Catholic version of the mostly-Protestant Promise Keepers and other faith groups formed to help men rediscover their place in an “age of cultural relativism” where gender roles have been blurring.

“In search for ‘sensitivity,’ men have abdicated their roles as leaders and become totally neutralized,” Father Kelly said. “We’ve really eroded what each gender brings with its own gifts and differences to human life.”

But the concept doesn’t just help men, Father Kelly said. “I don’t think a woman would want to be in a relationship with a man who just doesn’t know what to do. Just as we’re doing this for men, we also did a program called ‘Endow’ for women, educating women to the new feminism of the church where we’re equal, but different.”

Reclaiming men’s roles

Several conference attendees, like Todd Jackson of Immaculate Conception Parish in Elmhurst, who came “because of the talks about being a husband and father,” said the speakers didn’t so much break new ground as restate men’s roles as “teachers, providers who love their wives and that both parents should be together in spirituality.”

Ron Caronti of St. Gertrude Parish, Franklin Park, said a lot of what he heard wasn’t that different from the talks at a Cursillo retreat he made 40 years ago about “getting together with fellow men, developing your spirituality, and building a relationship with Jesus. But it was good to hear in a fresh light.”

David Ohmaan was interested because he hopes to help set up a young men’s group at Our Lady of Mercy in Chicago and didn’t leave disappointed.

“It’s all good.It’s all thumbs up,” said Ohman.