No regrets Acts 5:27-32, 40b-41; Ps 30:2, 4, 5-6, 11-12, 13; Rv 5:11-14; Jn 21:1-19 A few months before I turned 19, I got a tattoo of a shamrock with wings and a halo on my foot. It was a little cliché and silly and it had no personal meaning to me. I just thought it was cute, so I decided to get it etched into my skin forever — definitive proof that I was once an impulsive teenager. People will sometimes comment that I probably regret getting such a meaningless tattoo because I am stuck with it forever now. But I do not regret it. It reminds me of who I used to be back then. I was young, trying to find my place in the world and going through a difficult time. I needed a bright spot in my life, and I wanted to have a new experience. So, I found a tattoo place that was certified, safe and clean. It just so happened that the artist who owned the shop was known nationwide, so I booked an appointment with him, found the cutest tattoo I could and got it on my left foot. The colors were vibrant and joyful, and the artist picked up on the whimsical feel I wanted without me having to tell him. I planned for this tattoo with my whole heart, and I loved it. Was it an original piece that deeply resonated with my life and values? No. Does it resonate with who I am now? Again, no. But it is physical marker of part of my life journey. It is colorful, sweet and reminds me that if I want beauty and joy in my life, sometimes I must create it myself. I remember when the phrase “no regrets” became very popular on social media for a while. A lot of people were encouraging others not to waste their time on regret. I even had a professor expounding this philosophy, saying that we should never regret anything because our mistakes make us who we are today. I understand the idea behind this movement, which was to encourage people not to dwell on their mistakes, but I feel it needs to be nuanced a bit more. It is healthy to have regrets. Someone who truly feels no regret for anything they have done is not the type of person one would want in their life. However, not all regrets are worth having. For example, I do not regret getting a silly tattoo. I do regret the times I have hurt someone or acted against my own values. At the same time, it is not healthy to dwell on regret. The purpose of regret is to teach us that we made a mistake and help us to not make that same mistake again. Regret is not meant to be something we carry with ourselves. It is a tool meant to help us learn and grow. At one point, we must move onto forgiving ourselves, as Jesus helps Peter to do in today’s Gospel. It is often noted that the three questions Jesus asks Peter are meant to undo Peter’s earlier denials of him (Jn 18:17, 25-27). This comment almost makes it seem like Jesus’ questions were some kind of mystical incantation that were necessary for Peter to be worthy of carrying on the mission Jesus gives him. But we can imagine that Peter may have been feeling some regret over his actions. He may even have been worried that Jesus knew about it and held it against him. There will be much work for Peter to do and more difficult times ahead. Dwelling on regret will only weigh him down, making the rest of his life that much harder. So, Jesus helps him to move through his regret and focus on the future. Are there any regrets that you carry with you? Easter is the season of new life. It is the perfect time to reflect on regrets that might be weighing you down and to forgive yourself. Life gives all of us plenty to struggle with. We do not need to help it by adding more to our own plates.
About the Author Kate Oxsen is an assistant professor of Old Testament studies at Catholic Theological Union.